Live Your Life!!!

Assalamualaikum Mr. Diary!!!
Missing you beybehhh...

Hey,
Is it hard to make a living?
I mean,
Do People often have this problem, confuse on what they wanna do in future?
What best for themselves?
Or, is it just me?
Those who try to start a new move, do they think about what will happen next?
Why am I doing this?
Will this end up with a good result in future?
Can I survive with this thing?

Lately, I have this state of confusion about my future.
Sometimes, when I tell you all this things,
they just reflect me back.
Should I give up my first ambition of being lecturer and start a new life?
Should I continue with this course?
If I change, can I survive?
Is it just a dream or illusion or thought?

When I see how smooth others life be, I kind of jealous of them.
Yeah, apparently, it's normal as my life is not as great as them.
I'm not saying my life is kind of messy,
but it seems like I'm in the process of finding my identity.

I know, every time i reflect, it will turns to basic.

WHEN WE HAVE A GREAT RELAY WITH THE ALMIGHTY, EVERYTHING WILL BE JUST FINE

People say that are a lot of time to think about this.

But when I think about this again and again, it's like overthinking,

it makes me scared.

Scared if I can't make the correct decision,

Scared of turning my life upside down,

Scared of doing the wrong things.

There is so many theory about life in my head that pop out suddenly,

Like, alottttt.

That's all for today, thanks anyway :)

Relationship

Assalamualaikum Mr. Mr.
Wahh, it's A NEW YEAR!!!!!
Happy New Year for you MR. Diary...HAHA!

You know, I've just realised how fragile a relationship is.
Ahhh, such a killer statement right!!! Well, yeah, that's it.

To make this into story, I asked my best friend about our relationship, well basically friendship.

Did she ever imagine how long our friendship will be?

This is what she told me:

"Intan, I've imagine our friendship is all about.
And I think we might be friend in such a long time, BUT we will be separated.
You know, one day we will find new friends that we're comfortable with..even better.
Right now we are comfortable with each other, but then what about next time.
You've mentioned before, when we're really close with a person, we will get hurt.
Then, let's use that quote to reflect our friendship.
Well, basically I don't want that situation happens to us, that's why when there is something
happen, and I'm the one who in fault, I will apologize to you straight away.
Based on my experiences and observation, that kind of situation might happen to us.
Even now, between us and Moon, we're facing the phase where conflict happens.
I'm not changing, i will be the way I am now. But, most of my friends, they have changed.
A lot.

When I reflect the conversation we've discussed, I kind of agree with her.
Even me, myself, I couldn't maintain my relationship with those old friends.
I couldn't blame them who leave me when me, myself did not put the effort to cherish the friendship,
right?

A friend cannot be considered as a friend until he is tested in 3 occassions:

1) In time of need.
2) Behind your back.                         By: Ali bin Abi Talib
3) After your death.


My opinion towards this discussion:
To maintain a relationship, we both have to strive for it. Not just a party doing all the works. That is not enough.
Nothing is impossible.
Allah will always bless a good thing.
Believe in that.
What can I say about our discussion just now, my friend is really matured, compared to me. Hmmm

p/s Babe, let's maintain for our relationship, no matter how. Aminn.

Greedy

Assalamualaikum,

Hallu MR. Diary, miss me not??? I'm sure you do!!!

You know what, I suddenly feel terrible about myself, couldn't help it, but that it is.
Today's topic is GREED!!!
I'm feeling terrible because of this statement. It's not that others said that I'm greedy, but I just feel the GREED inside me.

You know how it feels like when before this you are always at the top, but out of sudden, you are at the bottom!!!
Maybe because I've been so comfortable with myself, then getting used to be always on top, when this situation pop out, it breaks my heart. Like seriously!!!! OH ALLAH!!

I just did my reflection towards this thing, and I think this feeling isn't good.. like, not good at all.
Why should I care of marks, scores, grades and everything when I enjoy this Semester, right??
Frankly, I think I've done my best, well, my opinion laaah, why should I care about others anyway.

Let's get back to the basic.
I should realise that there are ups and downs in this life.
People might compare me with them and bla bla bla, but I shouldn't let myself feel down.
Maybe I'm too obses with this 'TOP', till I forget what life is all about.

Intan,
You won't learn if you are always on top, sayang... you will never.
Let this experience be one of your precious memory as this will make you realise the real meaning of
'living'.
Don't let the greediness conquer you, don't you ever. It will harm you...please don't.

All the seven deadly sins are man's true nature. To be greedy. To be hateful. To have lust. Of course, you have to control them, but if you're made to feel guilty for being human, then you're going to be trapped in a never-ending sin-and-repent cycle that you can't escape from.

Marilyn Manson

The happiness and peace attained by those satisfied by the nectar of spiritual tranquillity is not attained by greedy persons restlessly moving here and there.

Chanakya

Note to myself. Intan, CHAIYOKK!!!

The Rest Of My Life

Assalamualaikum Diary,

Hope that you still remember who am I.. your BOSS lahhh.
These days, I've been looking back to myself. I mean neither the good things that I've done nor the bad things too. It's just how I'm wasting my life not having fun, filling my time with the things that I love to do.

Literally girls love things like Fashion, Foods, Travel, Cooking, Asessories, Reading and Musics. While me!!! Bosannnn.

Teenagers these days, including me UNINTENTIONALLY wasting our times on gadgets and internet, like now..updating you!!! HUH!
Well, it's still can be accepted, spending our times on this rather than doing activities like lepak, rempit and all, it's okay right???HAHA

Lets get back to the things that I've listed....Fashion and all that...
Lately, I'm getting interested in wearing skirts rather than pants.
I've noticed that girls are beautiful when they are wearing long skirts.
We can match it with shirts, blouse and even with blazers.
WOW!!!

SKIRT X BLAZER

SKIRT X BLOUSE/SHIRT

They look just fine, isn't it??!!!! HUAAAAAA
I believe that many of us already try these kind of outfit. The thing is, I don't really have confident on them. But now I think i should vanish them. Hmmm...I should try them on!!!

Travel haa... So many places that I wish to go. But first, let me khatam all the places in Malaysia, as I haven't been to all the fabulous places in Malaysia just yet!
The theme that I will focus on is PEACE. :) 

1. PENANG

2. LOST WORLD OF TAMBUN

3. REDANG ISLAND

Haa... these are the places that come into my minds.. while the restttt...ermmm, goes blank..
For Cooking, Asessories, Foods, Reading (Books) and Music, maybe I'll talk about that later..
Ohkay, Bye!!!

Feeling Horrible

Assalamualaikum Diary,

I think that I'm really bad. Until at some points, I regret all the things that I've said and done. How can I say all that when the end of it, I regret and don't know how to make it right.

Well, I'm pretty sure that you quite confuse about what am I saying.
Haha. Actually, just now, I talk bad about people... and I think I did create a "thing" that actually that "thing" wasn't true... You get what it means??
Aaaahhh... I don't know how to explain to you because its kinda complicated. Haaa....

Diary, 
If only you know how to deal with this life well and teach me how. All I can do now is just pray to Allah, seeking for my forgiveness in every perspective and pray to Him to accompany me in every decisions I will make so that I will not regret it any more. 

Ya Allah,
Kalau di sini saja tempat yang ku mampu untuk berasa ikhlas denganMu,
Kau terimalah dan makbulkanlah doaku yang penuh dengan kekurangan.

Ya Allah,
HambaMu di sini memohon pertolonganMu ya Rabbi.
Aku yang jahil, lagi bongkak bahkan kejam memohon akan keampunanMu dalam setiap apa yang aku lakukan di dunia yang fana ini.
Aku bukanlah hambaMu yang patuh dengan ajaranMu.
Bimbinglah aku dalam menjadi hamba yang sebenar-benar hamba, yang selayaknya bagiku.
Sekiranya hati ini ingin berasa iri harti, Kau lembutkanlah ya Allah.
Sekiranya mulut ini ingin berkata tentang keburukan orang lain, Kau senyapkanlah.
Sekiranya niat ini ingin melakukan kejahatan, Kau sekatkanlah.
Sekiranya diri ini ingin menyakiti orang lain, Kau hentikanlah.
Ya Allah, aku hanya insan yang lemah yang tak mampu untuk mengawal diriku dalam setiap pergerakan.
Janganlah sesekali kau meletakkan nasib ku ini di atas diriku sendiri.
Kau tentukanlah ya Allah setiap pergerakan, percakapan, perbuatan yang ku ingin lakukan sehingga akhirnya aku mendapat keredaanMu daripada kemurkaanMu ya Allah.
Sesungguhnya aku tahu, diri ini semakin hampir ke arah kematian.
Maka dengan itu, aku bermohon agar kau memberi ku banyak peluang dalam membimbing ku menjadi orang yang lebih dewasa di samping menebus kesalahan ku yang lalu.
Ya Allah, sesungguhnya Kau lah Tuhan yang Maha Pengampun lagi Maha Mengasihani.

Aminn.. 

Guide Me to be A Better One

The New Beginning...

Assalamualaikum diary,

Guess what? I think I've lost my mind for being a cautious person. Lately, I've been wondering what others think about me, and i did ask a few people how they feel, and it goes like this...

When we're having group discussion, they always have to obey my opinions.... We got the 'GEDIKS' tittle because of me!... It is so easy for me to call other people, especially guys 'SAYANG'...  why can't I control my voice in the class? ... I always act like a child! ...etc.

Of course, they did not say the words like that. But I asked other people what my group members usually talked about me to them. Seriously, I feel so down, even now. How can they don't understand me even they have been hanging around with me for the past 1 year!! 

Guys, I'm sorry for being a self-centered girl for all this times. I know I've done all that. I always make you guys obey me.. I'm really sorry. :( 

Wait, what's the problem with calling others 'sayang'... I did not call that especially to guys, I even use them to girls WHEN I CAN'T REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!!! 

What's the problem with the GEDIK tittle!!! They didn't call you guys gedik, they call me GEDIK!! IT IS ME!!! NOT YOU GUYS!!  I didn't ask you to bring the tittle with you!! DID I !!!

Ya Allah,
Please give me strength to face those people out there. I really need your help to guide and avoid me from meeting those kinds of people in the future. Make me understand your reasons by showing me all these scene of life. Guide me to be a better person.. 

My next plan,
I will proof to them that I can change to be a better person!
I know that I can!
There must be the reasons why Allah show me the other sides!

But, first of all, I need to correct my Nawaitu, I must change for the sake of Allah instead of other people...In Sha Allah...