Guide Me to be A Better One

The New Beginning...

Assalamualaikum diary,

Guess what? I think I've lost my mind for being a cautious person. Lately, I've been wondering what others think about me, and i did ask a few people how they feel, and it goes like this...

When we're having group discussion, they always have to obey my opinions.... We got the 'GEDIKS' tittle because of me!... It is so easy for me to call other people, especially guys 'SAYANG'...  why can't I control my voice in the class? ... I always act like a child! ...etc.

Of course, they did not say the words like that. But I asked other people what my group members usually talked about me to them. Seriously, I feel so down, even now. How can they don't understand me even they have been hanging around with me for the past 1 year!! 

Guys, I'm sorry for being a self-centered girl for all this times. I know I've done all that. I always make you guys obey me.. I'm really sorry. :( 

Wait, what's the problem with calling others 'sayang'... I did not call that especially to guys, I even use them to girls WHEN I CAN'T REMEMBER THEIR NAMES!!! 

What's the problem with the GEDIK tittle!!! They didn't call you guys gedik, they call me GEDIK!! IT IS ME!!! NOT YOU GUYS!!  I didn't ask you to bring the tittle with you!! DID I !!!

Ya Allah,
Please give me strength to face those people out there. I really need your help to guide and avoid me from meeting those kinds of people in the future. Make me understand your reasons by showing me all these scene of life. Guide me to be a better person.. 

My next plan,
I will proof to them that I can change to be a better person!
I know that I can!
There must be the reasons why Allah show me the other sides!

But, first of all, I need to correct my Nawaitu, I must change for the sake of Allah instead of other people...In Sha Allah...